I love her, but how stupid can she be?

My friend Rose has been dating this guy Mitchell for just over 3 years. They both used to work together at an architectural engineering firm. When they met, both were married to other people but were good friends with one another and were faithful to their spouses. Rose and Mitchell have since divorced their former spouses--at least I know for sure about Rose. Mitchell is the one that I have doubts about and here's why.

Rose never calls him; he always calls her. In the entire time that they have been together, Rose has never been to Mitchell's house. He's a major player at the firm and supposedly travels all the time, particularly now since he's managing this huge project that the firm was awarded. The only time that he goes over to her house is at night, usually after 9 and he never spends the night with her, unless they meet at a hotel somewhere, usually in another city not far from where we all are. She seems to see nothing wrong with this because she sees it as their chance to get away. Now call me crazy, but doesn't something seem not quite right about their situation?

We talk a lot about our relationships and she tells me about her plans with him and what she hopes to be doing. She seems to think that they are going to get married soon (though they still are not yet engaged) and buy a house together, etc. The problem that I have is that every time they are about to do something, like go shopping for an engagement ring or put an offer in on a house, something major comes up that thwarts that effort, particularly the effort that must be exhibited from him.

For example, last week Rose found this house that she totally fell in love with. It had all the bells and whistles that she wanted and that would presumably be agreeable to him. He was "out of town" and had to go and see it without her when he got back. An offer had previously been presented to the seller, but was rejected for being too low so the seller was still accepting offers and waiting for the original offeror to resubmit another offer.

In the meantime, Mitchell and Rose met up at a swanky hotel for a relaxing evening together. Apparently, when she brought up the house, he found everything wrong with it that he possibly could. This, needless to say, resulted in a huge blow up and they didn't have a very good night. The next day, he told her that he thought a lot about what she had said the night before and he had reconsidered. Mitchell told Rose that he was going to put an offer in on the house that afternoon and that it would be competitive.

Well, he made an offer all right. He totally low-balled it . . . essentially offering almost $100,000 less than the asking price because he said that he didn't want to buy the most expensive house in a new development. Without a doubt, their offer was rejected and the seller accepted another offer. Just an example of how Mitchell sabotages any type of progression toward what Rose seems to be wanting and dreaming of.

Now as she tells me all of these things, I can't help but wonder if she's really that dumb and desperate or is she really just oblivious to the fact that he "just isn't that into her?" I know that as her friend, I should be more forthcoming in my thoughts regarding this situation. But, women tend to be very protective of their men and relationships. Instead of taking my suggestions or listening to my words of warning, she'd likely get angry and resent my comments. Then what? I lose a friend because of some loser?

I keep hoping that at some point she will come to her senses and realize that she's being led by a string by this man. He doesn't, at least at no time in the immediate future, intend to make a commitment to her and basically allows her to spend his money to keep her appeased while he continues to pull his stunts and shinanigans. But, I think as long as the money keeps flowing, she'll hang in there. Now that's sad! But, damn if she doesn't have a killer wardrobe, shoes, jewelry and handbags! I'll talk about that in another posting.